my literature paper 1 sucked. i doubt i can even scrape an A2. -sigh- heartbreak. my history paper went bad too. so today, after so many days of writing, i wanna do something flippant and something senseless and weird. so i'm gonna tell you useless trivia, lame jokes and funneh quotes a la nadalala™ & co.©
Did you noe that a pigeon can't lay eggs unless it sees another pigeon? and if another pigeon is unavailable, it can look at its reflection in a pool of water and lay away!
Did you noe that chocolate discovered microwave radiation? it was placed near a microwave while it was heating something up and the chocolate melted!
Did you noe that every couple goes through a period when either spouse wants to cheat on the other one? Its called a Seven Year Itch.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.
Why was the skeleton alone? Because it had nobody.
What did Sushi A say to Sushi B? Wasabi! (What's up B?)
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? Water because whenever he's about to fight he'd go "WAH-TAH~!!"
There's a man who's caught in the prison cell. He only has a saw and a chair. How does he get out? He saws the chair in half. Two halves makes a [w]hole. so he crawls thru the hole and screams till his voice goes ho[a]rse. Then he gets on the horse and gallops away.
Two blondes were walking in the park when they found a compact on the floor. Blonde A opens up and compact and stares at the compact. A: HEY! THIS GIRL LOOKS FAMILIAR! Blonde B snatches the compact and stares at it. After a while, B proudly declares: OF COURSE YA DUMMY! IT IS ME!
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were getting a divorce. At the court, the Judge told Mickey: "Mr Mouse, you cannot divorce Mrs Mouse on account that she's mentally unsound and crazy." Mickey then says, "I didn't say she was crazy. I said she's fucking Goofy!"
What's the similarity between British Beer and making love in boat? They're both fucking close to water.
What did the tennis player tell his son? Stop making such a racquet!
No one is bald -- just too tall for their hair.
No one is short -- just vertically challenged.
No one is overweight -- just under tall.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
No one is born stupid -- just plain dumb.
No one is born dumb -- just plain stupid.
Remember that the toes you step on today may be connected to the legs that carries the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow.
Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.
Stupid factory: where boys are made.
If found, get lost. - Emily Strange
You're just jealous that the voices are talking me and not you!
The useless piece of flesh at the end of a penis is called a man.
Ten tiny words of POWER:
if it is to be, it is up to me!
Life is like a bubble bath; The longer you stay in it, the more wrinkled you get.
I maybe fat.. but you're ugly!!! -- AND I CAN LOSE WEIGHT! (hah! take that! =x)
My rules apply to everyone but me!
It isn't premarital sex if you're not gonna get married.
Some people are only alive because its illegal to kill. -ahem- slayer -ahem- heh. jk.
Junk is something you keep for years and throw away just 3 weeks before you need it.
I'm not discriminating. I hate everyone.
He stands there making empty promises. He calls it politics.
Money isn't everything...according to those who have it.
I can see your point but i still think you're full of shit.
I'd like to see your point, but i can't stick my head that far up my ass.
What did Santa say to his wife when he wanted to get a divorce? "It's Ho-ver."
_________________________________________________________
i have like 3 thousand more. but i think i've entertained enough for one day. Enjoy!!!!!
