i know its gonna be one of those PMS(Pre-Menstrual Syndrome)-y, mood swingy day when the first time i look in the mirror on that particular day and i go "yuck. i'm fat & ugly." The other day, i was reading Jolynn's blog and that particular entry had ended with a self-depreciating note, on her appearance mostly. so i told her that hey, imperfection's sexy.
What struck me aghast was the sadness and insecurity that surrounded that part of the entry. Why would anyone, tall and slim and considerably pretty like jolynn have any qualms about her appearance? She talked abt how beautiful she found other girls around her were and how much better they were than her and how dumbfounded she was that her current boyfie had chosen to go down the path of the journey of passion, love, respect, trust and heartache. Does one's appearance define a relationship? Why? If not, what does?
Earlier, much much earlier, this year, we were given an article entitled "Isn't She Lovely?" In the article, it proved to us the power of beauty and how one's mind defines beauty. I also specifically remembered the article saying that people responded more positively to beauty even if they thought negatively of a person. In other words, on some level, ALL of us are superficial and shallow. It's a shame, isn't it, that its part of human nature?
all of us have, i suppose, felt extremely self-concious and paranoid about our appearance. its how yeuey felt when 2 pimples, connected by the equation y = x/4 +1, popped up on her usually flawless skin; its how charmaine felt when she went on her first date with marcus and had to eat something in front of him; its how most of us feel when we see yuzhen in a bikini. I have to confess, PMS is a pretty good catalyst for the self-conciousness and paranoia and since its the week before the 20s of the month, i have been going through (especially during the past few days) HELL. and i have to go thru it every month. -whines-
i have to admit, i have spent a considerable amount of time in front of the mirror these days in different stages of dress (or undress) examining my flaws. The pimples. the flab. the hair. the rather flat chest in comparison to my very fully-endowed sisters. I could even find fault with my ears, my toes, my knees, my ankles, my instep and, believe it or not izyanti, my elbows. The irrationale behind it all could be blamed on a few guys (my dad and slayer are two of em) and several girls and women (jennifer aniston and as mentioned, bikini-ed yuzhen being one of em). not that they're aware of it. not that they did it on purpose.
There have been alotta shows going on that revolve around one's outside appearance. Miss Universe, Extreme Makeover, Are You Hot?, Temptation Island, Paradise Hotel, etc etc. Breast enhancement ads run rampant in our newspapers, our magazines, our telly, and most likely as junk in our emailboxes. Even men are not let off, even though their penis enhancement ads are not that widely advertised,..oh they're there. trust me.
Well, i'm gonna be off now. Time for a vcd marathon. with strawberries and pancakes and very hopefully, martinis. But think about these two household phrases and what i've just said:
Beauty is only skin deep.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Is it?
How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart
-Toni Braxton "How Could An Angel Break My Heart"
