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Monday, March 21, 2005

Dear reader,

i have decided to blog in a letter form becuz it seems so much more personal. very close to the heart ey? ;)

ah fuck it. i can't. hahaha. i still wld rather rant my butt off.

today. was a slackers day. my last slackers day ( or so i hope to do.) in school (wherever i'm going to.) i ponned classes like mad today. hahaha. worst thing is, i got caught by the teachers. hahahha. like how bloody suay is that? sigh. but i managed to pon anyway. cuz well. i simply didnt give a shiet.

tomorrow's posting.. i'm fricking worried. worried that i wont get into SA. worried that i will get into SA. worried that i'll get back into CJ. worried that i wont. sigh. i'm not used to being so ambivalent. i mean. CJ is like home to me now. well. sorta. i've made like alot of friends. and its all so familiar. the teachers are pretty okays. the best part is. i noe i'm needed there.. tt i have the chance to stand out there. that there are people i can wave to in the corridor and say HI!!! people who wld be comfortable enough to give me the occasional hug.

in SA. new environment. possibly better teachers ( no insult meant.) and from wad i hear from yeuai, the wuzhong culture is quite strong i.e. i can be my normal self and go crazy. be...fun. instead of boring cjc me. i miss going crazy. i miss 406!!! sigh. and my profile says so too. =(

sidenote: realised my profile doesnt show stuff tt i hate. will try to retify this problem asap.

today. when i ponned school. i went to far east.

and plucked my brows. now, my brows make me look foxxy and eville. yearrrggh!!! like some boyfriend-stealing slut-faced hoebag. sigh. but the brightside is, it makes me look older. hehehe. and i hope it makes me look much more attractive. hehehe. the fresh fruits stall guy (@ scotts food court) so totally flirted with me. hehehe. self-esteem boost!!!!

budden. something else pulled down my self esteem like wayyyyy down.

okay. so. i'm short. and fat. and round. but really doesnt mean that i dont have feelings. so its okay if u wanna tease me abt my stature. like 5 or 6 times. but really. dont do it all the time. it hurts. it's not as if i dont try. i do sports. i do PE religiously. -shrugs- but i guess its nothing new. you see. this is why i doubt people when they say "you deserve much better! you can get a better guy!" right. like humpty-dumpty can get anyone better. maybe i am like humpty dumpty. broken and never able to be pieced together again.

you're still the ones i want for life

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