my grandfather passed away on sunday night, 28/8/05, approximately 11.35pm.
it was abt 11.15pm. i was sitting on the bed, painting my little finger's nail with the nail polish yanzhang and taylen got me, intending to show yanzhang the next day at school, when the phone rang and my dad picked it up. i dunno why, but a feeling of anxiety and dread filled me as i shuffled out the room. sure enough. my dad's expression changed. he told me to change and rush down quickly to gung-gung's house. he was not going to make it thru the nite.
so everything passed by in a blur. my dad
rushed to get a cab while i contacted my sisters. i was worried and i msged 3 people. considered msging more. but 3 was a good number. my lucky number. but by the time we got to gung-gung's house, he had already left. it was 11.45, thereabouts. the sobs of my 2nd sister cld be distinctly heard 6 floors down... from the walkway leading to the lobby from the bus stop.
when we went into the house, everyone there already, my 4thAunt grandma and big-aunt 2nd-sis, excluding my sister's boyfriend who was trying his best to stop my sister from wailing, had their eyes and nose red with the sudden influx of water. my gung-gung was lying on the bed, with a piece of cloth/tissue paper soaked in what seemed like iodine. to stop the acrid smell of death from escaping i suspect. i exclaimed out a "gung-gung!" when i saw the lifeless body and dropped to my knees. my father hugged my sister and told her to stop crying in a no-nonsense tone. my sister was hysterical, and after chided and shaken she got up and, supported by her boyfriend, left the room.
i was grieving in silence when all i really wanted to do was wail like my sister. i hate it tt my practical side was showing. i didnt want to disturb the neighbours and upset anyone else more. my sister was already doing a good job of tt. in the next fifteen minutes or so, all my other relatives started arriving. a dark grief crept up and enveloped the house and the people inside. nobody had bothered about me. i was left on my own to stew.
one of the people i msged called. i went out into the corridor to take the call and without even saying hello i burst out crying "my gung-gung is gone!" i must've shocked him but he stayed on the phone with me. he talked me thru it and i calmed down. i cld tell i was babbling random facts out and he dealt with it. my father wasnt too happy with me on the phone, disturbing my friend. so i put down the phone considerably calmer more level headed. here i must thank him especially because i would've been worse off bottling all i felt up. really. thank you. you know who u are.
actually i must not only thank him but everyone who helped me out and comforted me, sent their regards, tried to come for the wake but cldnt. to everyone thankiew. really thankiew. someone told me, "he [my grandpa] will see you, but just in a different place. a nicer place." so i'm gonna list down everything tt remind me of my gung-gung because i mite forget in time to come and i know its the memories that keeps him alive.
1) he wore blue and white striped boxers made of thin cotton/linen.
2) he wore shirts of smooth linen in subtle patterns. his favourite was a lightly pink coloured one.
3) he bought hacks sweets for us when we were younger when he came to visit. always. and he called them "la-la tang" (spicy sweets.)
4) he bought soy sauce noodles for me in pri 2 after my cca. he picked me up from school after the cca in the afternoon and bought me late lunch and fed me dinner while i waited for my dad to pick me up at around 8pm.
5) he bought me vegeterian beehoon with little crispy flakes of fake-duck skin. and fake charsiew.
6) he loved to bite on toothpicks. everytime after dinner he wld take one to pick at his teeth and chew at. even when he was bed ridden, he wanted one.
7) he always drank tiger beer on chinese new year. he wld grin and laugh toothily at me and ask if i want one when i ask him "gung-gung, he pi jiu arh?" (gung-gung, drinking beer arh?)
8) he wld come down and visit us when we were unfilial and didnt spend time to go down to see him.
9) he called to nag at me and my sisters to not get onto motorbikes/bring my ic out/use my phone on the streets/cross the road when the traffic light is a red man.
10) he treated the dog very well even though he said he didnt like dogs. he wld visit us and bring either the hacks sweet for the dog or marie biscuits. when he came he wld sit in one corner biting bits of sweet for the dog and throw it down, calling out its name, "royale royale. eat."
11) he always thought that 5pm was too late and chased us away then if we werent staying for dinner when we visited him
12) he was a caring grandfather, who loved all of his grandchildren very much, be it those with his surname, boy or girl. he always bought sweets and candy for us. even though we cld tell my 2nd sister was his favourite, he always asked abt all of us whenever he called. he wld nag at us only because he was concerned abt us.
13) he lived a frugal life. he hated wsating money. he rarely switched the tap on more than wad was necessary and did not watch tv very often because it was a waste of money. he even rarely used the electric fan, opting to fan himself with a paper fan that he had.
14) he called my 2nd sister "wang ba dan." whenever she's home late but we knew that it was because he loved us.
15) he always thought for us. even when he was sick. he told us to visit him when we were free. if we werent it was okay too. when we ran errands, he wld make sure that we knew how to do it, where to do it and what to do if we met up with problems even though we're all at least 17. he wld always tell us that our dad worked hard to earn money to support the family and told us to be frugal.
there are alot of other memories but doing this so early more painful than i thought. my gung-gung was a good father who raised his children right so they all turned out to be good people. he was a good grandfather who seldom showed favourtism outrightly. he was a good man who loved in a quiet manner, always caring for us. you know he was loved by the way we all grieved at his wake and cremation. he loved and was loved and lived till 78 this year.
