i can't believe it. i really cant. i dont get it. i really dont.
they dont seem to feel any remorse, any apology, to the people they have disappointed. even if they do. its so very minimal. they seem so much happier that they're going off to NP.
i dont get it. i can't understand it. i'm trying to. i really am. i dunno how else to express my anger and my disappointment. i can't scream at them. i can't throw things at them. i can't beat them up. i can't.
fart, ong. why havent u guys kept ur promises? why have they been broken? one by one? how many people are u affecting by not having enough responsibility to work harder, put in that much more effort just to pass your exams and promote?
after complaining to cheryl for so long, i still feel as if i was a five year old who was told that i cld have mcdonald's for dinner and given broccoli porridge instead.
i keep hoping that somehow u guys are joking abt your grades and sooner or later u guys are gonna laugh at us for being so goddamn worried. tell us tt it was all a joke. its a cruel joke but less cruel than it being the truth.
u broke up the team. just like that. the team fell apart. the team that made me stay in CJ. u guys made people lose faith in the rest of us. future players who'll try to get in, how much harder a time are they gonna have? how much harder a time is the rest of the team gonna have?
i dunno if its us who placed too much on you or you who didnt work hard enough. i shud've just left like tong. afterall. the team is breaking up anyway. maybe it was kept together by the barest minimum after all.
i dun get how u guys can still smile when u see us. do u not feel any guilt at all? what the rest of us work hard for? chopped liver? becuz it feels like tt's all we're left with. i think it'll be underestimating the rest of us if i say we cant do without you. cuz i think we can. if we work hard enough. if we bothered and care enough. if the school would give us more of a chance.
but strength and unity in numbers. and the number is dwindling. and the hearts of the rest of us, just not so into anymore. why commit when u noe if u do, u get stung by it so much more? and all u guys have to do is leave. while the rest of us pick up the pieces. clear the debris of the damage tt ur hurricanes of irresponsibility have created.
how can u just say tt this is not your cup of tea? if ur t-scores cld make it into any jc. it shows u cld've done fine by it. so long as effort was given. yes. u lost out by not being in classes 1st 3 mths. but why didnt u take much more of an initiative to approach someone who cld've helped u to make up for tt disadvantage? if u did. did u press harder by yourself to make up for the lack? did you put in your 120% tt u had to?
if your answers to all of that is yes. den i'm sorry. but u're just plain stupid. but we all know tt the answers to tt were not all a yes. esp the last question. cuz if u did. i wldnt be here ranting cuz everyone's so tired of having to hear me bitch abt how angry and disappointed i am with u guys.
i cant even tell this shit to you guys. cuz i dont want u to go about, depressed and angsty, into a new environment. becuz u sure as hell need every last bit of enthusiasm and initiative to succeed in your new environment. and i hope u sure as hell succeed. at least u didnt sacrifice the rest of us like lambs for nothing.
