my dog passed away last night. it's anguishing devastating. if losing in badminton broke my heart. my dog's passing shattered me. i have never been his favourite but he has always been mine. i dont think i will love another dog the way i loved royale. he was a very charming boy. with his black and white fur. been with us 14 years and wld be 15 come this late may.

i went to school for a while just now. i looked like crap. my eyes were red and puffy. den my 2nd sister gave me a call. she was hit the hardest. she loved my dog so much. she cant accept tt he's gone. and she's going abit delirious. she couldnt stay home alone. so i popped back home to stay with her. i brought work home and i guess i shud be starting on it soon.

last nite at the vet, my grandma and my eldest sis rushed down. and my grandma told my dog in hakka "royale. popo's here to see you already. u can go in peace now. rest well." my dog was already gone by then. he had been gone for nearly an hour already. he passed in the lift in my 2nd sister's arms. the vet said age was probably the biggest factor in my dog's passing. my dog had already outlived the average age of his breed. i miss him so much.

i dowanna relive how we found out he was going. dont press me for details.

all i want to rmb are the happy things.

i rmb the way his nails click on the floor when he walks. how he waddled abit. i rmb how soft his fur was. i rmb how affectionate he cld be. sometimes, even when his preferred human, my 2nd sister, was home. he wld still come greet me. snuggle up to me for a while. and sometimes after his dinner when i'm lazing on the couch with my hand hanging off the edge, i rmb how he put his head under my hand, letting me know he loves me and wants me to stroke and rub his tummy. i rmb how he barks excitedly when i'm abt to give him dinner. or when i come home fairly late and he hasnt been fed. i rmb how he gets excited when we ask him "royale are u ready or not? who wants a cookie?" i rmb how he looks like when he does tt huge open-mouthed dog grin of his, panting with joy. i rmb how he seem to understand when i said "who's my darling boy? who? you har?" or "royale so good boy huh? who's the good boy?" i also rmb how he seemed to be sorry we found him rumaging in the trash rather than being sorry that he did. i rmb how when we put the electrical table fan on the floor he wld like to sit in front of it. i rmb the wet days tt we showered him and trimmed his fur badly and how he seemed so refreshed after tt, running around happily. i rmb him being cuddly and soft and smelling all dog. i rmb how he likes to bask in the sun when we bring him down to the grass patches.

i rmb so much. and i'm so afraid tt i will forget. becuz i dowanna forget. i dont think there's anyone who can love me so unwaveringly even when he seemed grumpy. and i'm so sorry there are so few pictures of him. and not one home video. i wish someone cld bring him back to us but i know its impossible. i dont think i'll ever keep another pet. its too difficult to lose them.

this post is probably very disjointed and doesnt make much sense at all. but i dont care.

all dogs go to heaven, they say. i hope tt's true. cuz heaven is such a beautiful place and plus my grandpa wld be there to take care of him too.